Starting high school is a big step. Students get more freedom, more work, and more responsibility. Families still matter a lot during this time. Talking oftenβand listeningβcan help your student feel supported and confident.
How to Talk With Your Freshman
How to Have Good Conversations
Before jumping into advice, try these tips:
Listen first. Let your student share how they feel.
Ask open questions. Try βHow did that go?β instead of βDid you do your homework?β
Stay calm and supportive. High school can feel overwhelming at first.
Encourage independence. Help them solve problems instead of fixing everything for them.
When Your Student Says βI Donβt Knowβ
You will probably hear βI donβt knowβ a lotβespecially at first. This doesnβt mean your student doesnβt care.
Sometimes it means:
Theyβre tired or overwhelmed
They havenβt had time to process their day
They donβt have the words yet
Theyβre worried about giving the βwrongβ answer
What helps instead of getting frustrated:
Give them time and space to think
Try asking later in the day
Ask smaller questions like βWhat was one good thing today?β
Share something about your own day first
Let silence be okay
Patience builds trust. When your Freshman feels safe talking to you, they are more likely to open upβjust not always on your timeline.
Why These Talks Matter
Freshman year sets the tone for high school. When families stay connected, students are more likely to:
Feel confident and supported
Ask for help when needed
Stay engaged in school
Grow into responsible, independent learners
Your Freshman doesnβt need all the answers yetβthey just need someone willing to listen.
What to Talk About During Freshman Year
Summer Before High School
Good talks before school starts can reduce stress later.
Things to talk about:
What will high school be like compared to middle school
Class schedules and how to read them
School rules, expectations, and behavior standards
How to stay organized (binders, planners, backpacks)
Transportation to and from school
Technology use (school email, learning platforms)
Who to ask for help at school (teachers, counselors, administrators)
First Weeks of School
The start of high school can be exciting and scary at the same time.
Check in about:
Finding classrooms and getting to class on time
Homework and increased workload
Making new friends and keeping old ones
Clubs, sports, and activities they might want to try
School safety and knowing where to go if they feel unsafe
How lunches, lockers, and hallways are different from middle school
First Grading Period
Once things settle in, itβs time to reflect.
Ask about:
Grades and how they feel about their classes
Study habits and time management
Balancing school, activities, and rest
Stress, sleep, and screen time
Any classes that feel challenging
Talking to teachers or counselors when help is needed
The Rest of the Year
High school is about growthβnot necessarily perfection.
Ongoing conversations can include:
Setting goals and building good habits
Learning responsibility and self-advocacy
Handling mistakes and learning from them
Exploring interests and future plans
Building confidence and pride